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Monthly Archives: January 2017

Talks about Money in A Relationships

1. Give time to the discussion

It does not mean that you need to select a precise day for “talking about money” but you need to think about a period of time and a previous preparing. You must know what are the main issues, how to direct the talking and draw a conclusion.

2. Do not totally impose yourself

It is a fact that you have different plans of how to use money, but this does not mean that your opinions are better or your investments are more successful. Anyhow, no matter how good your ideas are, you don’t have to forget that the talk is not about your money only but the money you get together.

3. Be flexible

If she has an idea about an investment, don’t say “no” without even listening to her. Listen to her, to her ideas, have some of your own, better ones, and everything will be Ok. Do not get stubborn to prove she is wrong especially when you make it out of pride.

4. Do not get bossy

Even if you are office manager, do not get imposing. If you come home and say “this money will be enough”, it will not be Ok. Maybe you will not get a drastic reaction, but she definitely will want to spend all you’ve got. Talking about money is as serious as all other problems that appear in your relationship. No matter how great love is, it can be fragile.

 

Topics that Need to be Kept Away from Your Date

1. You are dependent on your mother

Your loved one does not need to know that you lived with your parents until recently only because it was comfortable to have your mother close to you. No woman will accept a man depending on his mother’s care. If you tell her this, she will start thinking that your mother can influence your relationship with her.

2. Things that your mates do

If you have close friends that like to do crazy stuff, do not inform your potential girlfriend about it. If they want to go to a strip bar, she will not be happy and may become frightened about the ideas your friends can place in your mind.

3. The excess of porn movies

Your potential girlfriend does not want to know how many porn movies you watch a week, so spare the details. Maybe she is not disturbed too much but she can ask herself questions like: ”Do I satisfy him?”, ”Does he have a fetish?” or ”Is he mentally deranged?”

4. You liked her girlfriend before

…but because she said: ”No way!” you turned to her instead. Even if you realize now that it was the best choice possible, such a confession can make your present relationship dysfunctional. No woman would ever like to be second choice; she would not think this is a funny event or just fate.

 

About Communication

These days we often hear a lot about “quality time.” In many cases, however, this comes to mean trying to squeeze as much as possible into a small amount of time allotted for it. People whose everyday lives and schedules are full to the overflowing point with job and family obligations usually consider this to be the only alternative; but there are also many whose personal interests, hobbies and pastimes take precedence, leaving the marital relationship to be resigned to this version of “quality time.”

There are two problems associated with this concept. First, obviously, pre-scheduled quality time is simply not enough. However, the other significant factor in attempting to have a marital relationship without giving enough time to it is that when one spouse or both begins to see that neither the relationship nor he or she is a priority anymore, both the relationship and the spouse will suffer from the neglect.

If you think back to your early days with your spouse, you were in the majority if you and this person wished and attempted to spend every minute together. In a healthy, normal relationship, “I only have eyes for you” is indeed a truism– there was nothing and no one that could compare with your new partner, nothing and no one that could pry your attention away from this person!

As is the case for normal, healthy couples, this begins to change. In most instances it is a matter of needing to work, tending to family responsibilities, and even having one’s own particular interests and friends which causes the spouses to shift their focus off of each other and off of their relationship.

If you are preparing to reconstruct your marriage, rebuilding that initial relationship is necessary. One very important point which many in this situation miss, however, is that while being more generous with your time is essential, getting back to the way it was in placing more emphasis and focus on your partner is also essential. As the quickest way to cause a substantial feeling of neglect

Is to make that person feel as if he is not as important to you as he used to be, reemphasizing the fact that he is indeed a priority in your life will do wonders to bring the sense of connection and joy back into your marriage!

If you truly want your marriage to be the very best that it can be, you cannot afford to be stingy with your time! Granting someone an hour per week, after all of the “more important” factors in your life have been taken care of, simply will not do it.

If you are like most people, you probably do not have the faintest clue in how to get more time for your spouse in your already-full schedule. The theory is correct: if you cannot find the time, you must make the time. We all know that finding free time is a luxury which most of us do not have; so if you look at it in those terms, you are not giving it a chance.

Instead, seeing your spouse and your relationship as a real priority in your life which you must make time for is the key. Perhaps you can look at it in a manner similar to the way in which you view your job: it is necessary, it is good, and the time will be taken for it.

If you have come to or past the point where spending a significant amount of time with your spouse is something which you have not done for a long period of time, it may feel like an unfamiliar venture. We all know people who have been married for many years, and rarely see each other because one or both individuals are “too busy.” Perhaps this describes you– or perhaps you see yourself heading in this direction, and are unsure as to what to do about it.

In addition to setting your spouse and your relationship as a priority again in matters of giving enough time, what you do with that time is also relevant. For example, you may know couples, such as retired older people, who spend a great deal of time together, yet do little together and have little to say to each other!

While being in each other’s presence is generally a good thing in itself, simply “being there” can benefit from a little boost. While planning in advance for what you wish to do is not always a good idea, having something in mind can be quite helpful.

If you are as many people who have full schedules and little time, it is most beneficial if the time you put into your relationship is focused on your “togetherness.” There is an aspect of this which many do not consider– and that is that there are two very different manners in which couples spend their time together. One is a matter of focusing on each other; the second is a matter of putting more focus onto activities and/ or other people. And even though both are good, the former is much more helpful when the basic goal is to regain communication and togetherness.

If you are uncertain as to what this means, and what the difference is, you can think about it this way: if you and your spouse go out to dinner, a movie, a party, or participate in an activity, your general focus is on the activity. You are not giving your spouse the attention he or she may need, nor communicating effectively, when the focus is on enjoying a movie or interacting with other people at a party!

Having and sharing common interests, taking part in hobbies and pastimes, and socializing with other people is important to the individual as well as to the couple. However, viewing it as a significant part of “couple time” or “togetherness time” is a mistake, because it cannot fulfill that purpose. Instead, granting your spouse your undivided attention is the factor which will help this all-important person to realize that he or she still takes center-stage in your life!

 

Some Tips to Save Your Relationship

1. Communication

The best and most important method in a relationship is communication. You need to talk to your partner because it is crucial. Tell him/her exactly what you think, what makes you unhappy; what would you like to change.

2. Learn how to forgive

Forgive your partner’s mistakes and admit nobody is perfect – even you make mistakes and nobody makes you pay for them. For a bigger mistake, a break-up is not solving anything. Talk about the reasons what lead to the incident and pass over things that are not so important.

3. Have faith in him/her

In every relationship or marriage, faith is important. If you do not trust the person you live with, then you relationship is worthless. If there are reasons of jealousy or other reasons that can appear to diminish your trust, do not show suspicion.

4. Show your feelings

If you want a good relationship, you need to show your partner what you feel for him/her. Give up the scenario that he/she would love you more if he/she does not know how deep your love is, that his/her intentions are for real, it is the moment to treat this person the same.

5. Offer gifts

Not expensive ones, but symbolic ones, or little surprises. As an example, a mug to use at the office, a frame for your photo. It’s easy to show love.

6. Be sincere

Never lie, especially because truth will show up. Every time you think to say a lie, think that nothing good will appear, and when truth is found, he/she will not trust you anymore.

7. Share his/her feelings

If you have a problem, maybe at the office or family related, tell your partner about it and try to find a solution together. Also, invite him/her to share problems with you – everything is easily solved when both of you work on it.